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The under-appreciated art of a pro-level hand job

The hand-job gets a pretty bad rap. For many men, their first experience is often one that’s over-enthusiastic (see, yanking as if milking a cow) or it’s under-enthusiastic from an equally inexperienced or even squeamish partner.

All too often the hand-job is considered just a means to an end, dismissed as a quick fix to get him hard so we can then proceed to bounce around on him. It’s not given much thought and viewed as experimental teenage fun rather than a fully-rounded, sexually rewarding experience.

Sometimes I have jaw ache. Sometimes I don’t want full-penetrative sex and occasionally I just want to give him a treat. In all of these cases the hand-jobs is just bloody perfect.

As with many things it requires an open conversation with your partner to discover what he really likes. (I’d advise framing it as a special treat, that way he won’t be taken aback when you approach him with a can of lube and baby-wipes!)

The key to a pro-level hand-job is essentially water-based lube. We’re going beyond the atypical yank-a-thon so break out that lovely lube people.

Pro Tip: Get lube with a pump dispenser, that way you can always keep one hand on the action rather than letting go to shake the bottle.

Start with a small amount and gently circle the tip of his cock with just a fingertip to get the lube spread out across the ‘head’ (I’m sorry, I hate the word ‘glans’!) Add more lube if you need to or drip some water on to the tip and it’ll quickly lubricate even more and spread out. (Some guys really like the sensation of the water trickling down them). As you spread the lube out, or add more bring another fingertip in on the fun to spread the lube out to cover the entire area. Think of it a little like using sun-tan lotion - you want all areas covered. Keep this going and pretty soon he should be rock-hard and deliciously slick.

From here there are a number of different moves you can try and guys will all have preferences on which part of their junk they like being touched the most. This also depends on whether or not he is circumcised. If he’s foreskin intact then the tip or head is going to be way more sensitive than guys who have been circumcised.

The key is to take your time and work it slowly at first because trust me, by the time you’re going full-pelt he’ll cum very quickly.

I’ve found the ‘Emu’s Head’ technique (imagine you have your hand in a sock-puppet) to be particularly effective. Using this grip, move your hand down from immediately above his penis and let your fingers glide down over the tip until you reach the top of the shaft and gently stroke the underside of his tip. Then move your fingers back up to the top and repeat again and again as much as he likes. Try swirling your fingers around in all directions, let him direct you to his special areas.

Lube as you go. Your fingers should at all times feel a little wet, the moment it starts to dry out add more lube or water.

If you’re in a teasing mood you can carry on like this or, if you are keen to move things along now is the time to gently firm up your grip and incorporate your whole hand. As always, make sure there’s enough lube - your grip is literally mimicking a vagina so should be wet all the way through.

When you’re ready don’t stop at the base of the cock head but move your stroke down the entire shaft and then back up again. Go slowly at first and then find a firmer, rhythmic motion as you repeat the process. The tip is usually the most sensitive part so don’t ignore that that area, ensure that all areas of his cock are covered.

Again, be guided by his reaction, ask him if he wants to go harder or faster. You may be surprised at the amount of pressure he can take but don’t result to a frantic wanking method too quickly. Build up to it slowly and deliberately. Depending on his size you can also use both hands, but again, make sure both hands are lubed up. As you stroke him up and down try rotating your grip to get full ‘coverage’ and keep the pressure consistent.

Watch the reaction in his face and feel the strength of his erection to guide you into what’s going well and what can be improved.

Pro Tip: Make sure the lube works it’s way down to the palm of your hand otherwise you could hit a dry spot and cause a painful pull.

By now, the chances are he’ll be nearing orgasm so you have to decide where he’s going to ejaculate. So you have several options.

If you don’t mind swallowing, you can finish him in your mouth.

If you’re naked letting him erupt on your breasts, stomach or face (ONLY if you’re comfortable with this. Yes we’re treating him, but that doesn’t mean we forget about our own boundaries) will always go down well. (I kinda like doing this as I get to gaze into his eyes and fully concentrate on his pleasure).

Resort to the trusty baby-wipe. Try not to use tissue as it’ll end up getting stuck to him which can often cause wincing when he tries to remove it. Regardless of what you choose have the baby-wipes on standby anyway, when it blows, it’s gonna blow!

There’s something altogether versatile about a good hand-job. If you like watching porn together try doubling-down with some really filthy talk and really going to town in either a submissive or dominating fashion (whatever you are most comfortable with). Because you are in control you can tease or…punish him as much as you like!

Pro Tip: Although not strictly a hand-job, follow him into the shower and really go to town not only using your hands but sliding him between your boobs or even the cheeks of your ass.

Whether you’re going for the coy, submissive approach or a more dramatic, straddle-and-work-him-with-both-hands-while-demanding-he-comes-for-you scenario, by following these guides it’ll be an experience not forgotten quickly.

As with most things you get out what you put in and remember, this is your show. Make sure you own it!