Currency: $ USD
By Venus O'Hara
Buying a sex toy in an erotic boutique in New York should have been an orgasmic experience. But it was nothing of the sort, unfortunately. The backdrop reminded me of that iconic scene in Sex and the City when Charlotte discovered the rabbit, but my version was, sadly, pretty tragic in comparison.
I was on holiday with a former boyfriend and I was often the one complaining about the lack of horizontal action between us. In fact, the only lust we shared was wanderlust and it was our love of travelling that kept us together for so long.
We were planning a trip to New York. ‘Do you think I should bring my vibrator?’ I had asked him as we were packing our suitcases before we left. ‘Why would you need a vibrator when you’ve got me? I'll make love to you every day.’ he promised and sealed it with a kiss on my lips.
Needless to say, I was filled with hope. Perhaps a holiday was just what we needed to rekindle a flame that had never really existed in the first place. So, I left my trusty rabbit vibrator at home and hoped that I’d be enjoying hot sex with my boyfriend instead.
When we landed in the Big Apple, my high hopes were met by the harsh reality that my ex just didn't desire me. All he wanted to do while he was in our hotel bed was sleep. At first, I put the lack of sex down to jet lag. By day three, however, I began to get twitchy and I started to regret the fact that I hadn't packed my favourite sex toy. I was left with no alternative but to buy another rabbit to take care of my immediate needs.
Things that you put up with in your day to day life tend to become magnified when you go on holiday with your partner. Although there were no arguments or drama between us, the cracks were more obvious than ever. Having a partner who didn’t desire me felt like a massive blow to my ego. But, most of all, it made me question whether my sexual expectations were unreasonable or worse still: I started to wonder if there was there something wrong with me.
‘I’m going to buy a sex toy,’ I said, as I noticed an elegant erotic boutique when we were walking around Manhattan one afternoon. He nodded indifferently and followed me in. Any bystander might have thought we were a horny young couple looking for something to spice up our sex life during our stateside trip, but nothing could have been further from the truth.
I made my way straight to the vibrator section to choose my next plastic playmate. In order to punish my boyfriend for his extreme indifference, the sadist in me made sure the shaft part of my chosen sex toy was significantly bigger than his phallic offering. After all, it wasn’t going to be cheap and I wanted to guarantee some inches for my dollars.
Every morning during our stay, we would wake up in our queen size hotel bed, as far away from each other as possible. He would get up and go straight to the shower. He was quite meticulous with his personal grooming rituals so that gave me sufficient time to reach for my rabbit and have a clandestine orgasm to relieve myself while he was in the bathroom.
I closed my eyes and fantasised about a former friend with benefits. I imagined my fingers running through his sleek, black shoulder-length hair and I imagined him staring down at me from above as he moved inside me. His gaze was filled with the kind of desire that I craved and needed so much. In no time, my frustrated and throbbing clitoris would react and I had to bite the pillow to hide my ecstasy.
When my ex-boyfriend emerged from the shower, I was flushed and out of breath. I got up and then went to the bathroom to wash my toy and shower. He must have realised what I was up to, but just didn’t seem to care. Instead of making love to me every day as he promised, he did make a half-hearted attempt to have sex the night before we left, but his obvious apathy was almost insulting.
I realised that I couldn't deny myself that kind of desire any longer. I decided that as soon as I was back in Barcelona, I would put an end to our sexless relationship. Whoever said that masturbation makes you blind got it all wrong, because thanks to my sex toy in the city, I was finally able to see clearly.